If you have seen Sex & the City Movie, remember there is this scene in the beginning part of the movie, after Big agreed to get the penthouse, and Carrie was telling her friends about it?
"For now, can you stop worrying for me, and just go ahead and feel what I want you to feel.. JEALOUS.. ohh.. jealous of me living in this gorgeous penthouse in Manhattan.."
"Alright.. am jealous.."
I mean, we all learn from our moral & religious values that we should be thankful for what we have, and be happy for those who have more. God is always fair, some may get more, some may get less. And if we don't get more, we should compare ourselves with those who gets less, right?
Maybe God is testing me.. testing my patience and my thankfulness. Ever since I got to know about Ms Taylor*'s latest news, I feel somewhat jealous. Not the good jealous, but the "green-eyed" jealous. I know I should be happy for her, but the jealously weights more at the moment. And I don't like one bit of it... perrgghhh..
Ishh.. I don't wanna be those ppl who "bermasam muka" or "menyampah" with anyone, with all those hatred thought or feelings with one another. NO NO NO.. But, why I am feeling this way? Dah jadi rezeki dia, biarkan ajelah right? She deserves it, right? But why do I feel so miserable inside?Why do I feel that I have to compete with her? Sighh..
Even when I was talking to Mr Bert earlier, I had this uneasy feeling.
"Why you feeling that way? Is it because of me? Did I do anything wrong?"
It was sweet that he thinks it was his fault. I didn't have the heart to tell him..not yet at least.
"No, it's not you.. I dunno.. "
"Okay.. you just have to know that I love you so much..now go get some sleep"
That certainly cheered me up. :)
Ya Allah..lemmie be strong, and overcome this unnecessary emotions that I am feeling right now. I am thankful & grateful for all You have given. Please let me move on & be happy for her sincerely. Please take away all this hatred. Sesungguhnya Kau yang Maha Adil dan Masa Mengetahui..Ameen..
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