dugaan merisik..

It's funny how many things can influence one's feelings.
Initially.. I was excited, not over-the-top, but I was looking forward to the day.
I guess because it is expected, so yeah, I was ready.

But, the unexpected happend.
I was caught in the middle.
I was caught in-between two different mind sets.
I was in a dilemma.

After confiding to Shades, I called up Mr Bert.
My intention was not to tell him. I just wanted to hear his voice, to make me feel calm.
He knows me better. He could sense there was something wrong. And boy I cried.
He assured me he will discuss things again.

The very next day, everything was set. But somehow,my emotions were hi-wire.
At times, I feel happy, especially when I was trying the ring sizes, buying the songket & kain, looking at the wonderfully wrapped boxes.
But at other times, when it triggers, I can cry the entire River Nile.
I feel some-what guilty, terribly scared & terified, hoping that this is not a bad start..

Mr Bert has been wonderful at times like this.
He assured me that things will be okay.. He reminded me to pray that everything will run smoothly.
I feel so relief when he said statements like,
" Baba nak sangat meen jadi menantu"
" I dah sayang you, my parents dah sayang you too.. so, we proceed kay.."
:) Thanx dia.. you mean the world to me..
Btw, he has been in good mood lately..
Love it when he's like this!

So now, I have a different mind set.
Am looking things at a different light.
This is just an obstacle for happiness..
(nih baru merisik..how bout tunang..yet alone nikah!! Ya Allah, let me be strong..)
Insyallah, everything will turn out well..

The first step.. one day to go..